Can vs. Should

I've never been great at making decisions, I always second guess myself - paranoid that I am making the wrong choice and won't be able to take it back. As I have gotten older I have worked to get better at it, reminding myself that the world won't end if I make the "wrong" choice - and in the case of picking an entree at a restaurant, I can always come back and get my second choice another time (thanks, D.)!

In my last post I mentioned that I have a bunch of big decisions right now and that I'm trying to be proactive in my decision making - talking out the choices with as many people as I can. By talking them out I am able to pick the problem apart and each time I do it I see different angles. I was doing just that a few weeks ago, trying to solve the "to move or not to move" question with my parents and a big light bulb went off: there is a big difference between 'can' and 'should.'

I have been talking about getting my own place since I moved to DC, but it has yet to happen. Going into this lease renewal I was sure that this was going to be the year: I have the budget for it, I found a good neighborhood, the timing was right - work would be busy but not insane. I could do it! But as I talked it out, I started to question if I should. You see, I have the budget, but I also have a three week trip to Peru in June and wouldn't it be nice to have that move budget to do some extra excursions on this trip?! As for where I was looking to move, it's a great neighborhood but I do really love my apartment and Old Town. As to the timing, my responsibilities at work have been expanding and may be changing in the next few months. Further, I have three weddings this spring/summer in addition to Peru, so it will be awesome to use my vacation days for these instead of moving. And as a last pebble on the scale - sharing rent for another year would mean saving a good chunk of money for another year, putting me a lot closer to a down payment on a house.  

As I watched the scales teeter back-and-forth, I realized that yes - I can move into my own place; but I was a lot less sure that I should. And then I spent a very anxious month waiting on K. to decide on her end of the question. I knew that no matter what she chose it would be okay, because I could do it, but I hoped that I wouldn't have to. On Monday, while watching the Bachelor (because that is what we do) we hashed it out and decided that we were going to re-up our lease. It felt great to have one of these decisions off my plate and to be able to move forward with some more things that I had been putting on hold (i.e. start dating, start my Roth IRA, plan a trip to NYC, etc.).

So, next time you have a big decision hopefully the "can vs. should" scale will help you out like it did for me on this one!