Fall-ing Into the End of 2017

How do we have less than two months left in 2017? As I pick out my holiday greeting cards and start my countdown to Christmas vacation, I can't help but take stock of my year so far and what I hope to accomplish yet this year. I looked back at the various posts I have written about my auspicious goals for the year and realize that I have succeeded in many ways, but I can't help but realize that one of my biggest misses has been here. I have promised to be consistent and prolific, yet this fall I have failed. 

As some of you know, August to mid-October were a shaky time for me. At the end of July, I lost Byron two days before my birthday. I have started a post on the ensuing grief more times than I can count. In August, I began what will go down as the shittiest relationship I have ever been in - one that was blessedly brief but involved someone laying their hands on me. I have started a post on the feelings of shame and the fact that it can happen to anyone more times than I care to count. In September, I discovered that there would be an entire overhaul of my department at work - my job should be safe, but what it will look like is unknown. I have started a post on workplace turmoil and the job market dozens of times. In October, Troy got out of prison and entered my parent's life again. I have started a post on what this means to me and defining family more times than you can count. 

Now we are in November. Most of these things are steadier now. I have survived the loss of Byron. I survived being in an abusive situation - something that I never thought I'd have to deal with. I am surviving the shifting at work and the idea that Troy will be at the Christmas table. As I look towards these last weeks of 2017 I realize that I may not be ready to delve into these full stories, but I can still start the tale. I will write the full posts and take you on these journeys, but for now I can tell you that they happened and I am still here and still committed to you and this blog. 

I feel stronger now than I did when I jubilantly started July and was looking down the second half of the year. I made it through the other shoe dropping and am now looking forward to wringing the last bit of everything out of 2017 - I can't wait to do a fabulously fancy Friendsgiving next week, to do some damage at Black Friday shopping, to hit up the holiday parties the week after that, and then to head down to Florida to spend some quality time with K. & G. and then lounge with the dogs and my parents. Kind of like those resolutions I made for the year, 2017 wasn't all successes; but neither was it all failures and I intend to have it end on a high note and to try and wring out a few more wins in those last few weeks. And so my dear readers, I am back and you better be ready for some more stories to take you into 2018, because I have been saving them up!