Strong

The last few months have been a whirlwind of stress, sadness, anger, fear, and determination. Back in April I was broken-up with for the first time, shortly thereafter my finances flew into a mess, and then I was slammed at work. To say it has been a bit overwhelming is an understatement and I have just focused on getting through and doing whatever comes next.


After the break-up I meditated, took an art class, read a self-help book, cried, watched movies, worked out, ate some ice cream - in other words, I dealt with it. During the subsequent financial crisis I reset my budget and spending priorities, read books on saving, tinkered with my 401k, and once again, I dealt. While dealing with all of this I was also dealing with long hours at work. I was determined to not let my life fall apart and it didn't.  

But while I was getting through I also wanted to keep enjoying my life - I joined a book club, I extended my work trip by a few days to make for a cheap vacation, I challenged myself by joining Toastmasters, I enjoyed Netflix dates with my roomie, meditated, used the gym as a stress reliever, played pen-pals with my out-of-town friends, and had some serious phone dates with my parents. Suddenly I was living my life and enjoying it and time flew by. Next thing I knew, I was dating again, my finances were in order, and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel at work.

Which brings me to today. I was working out in my apartment, gyms aren't really my thing, and the 'on demand' went out with 8 minutes to go of Madam Secretary...I reset the box and started jogging in place while I waited for it to reset, and all of the sudden I got the urge to dance. As I started to dance around the room, I let go, I let go of the worry, the stress, the sadness, the anger, all of it; and before I knew it I was really letting go - my arms were in the air, they were waving like I just didn't care. I was doing moves I hadn't done in years  the hand jive, the macarena, the electric slide - it was amazing. The more I danced the stronger I felt, and a chant started forming in my head: 'I am strong, I am stronger than I know, I've got this, I overcame, here I am, I'm not going anywhere, It is going to be okay, better than okay, it is going to be great!'  I couldn't stop repeating it. It became my mantra, better than the ones I used in yoga. It reverberated through my body. It just felt so good to let go and to say out loud that I was okay.

The thing is, I am strong, stronger than I give myself credit for and I will make it through whatever comes next, because as the song goes "whatever doesn't kill you..." I pulled my life out of the nose dive and am looking forward to seeing where I land this time! Hopefully the next time you are going through something that seems too tough to handle you can try dancing it out and finding your own mantra, because it sure as hell worked for me.