Dear Readers - It has been awhile and I apologize for that, but life has a way of throwing the unexpected at us and knocking us off balance. I'm not ready to tell that story yet, so for now you will have to settle for the long overdue conclusion to Sweaty Palms & Weak Knees from April.
We left off with me meeting Lawyer P. for our first date, and what a first date it was. This was the kind of first date that you see in the movies, where two strangers sit down and the next thing you know 5 hours have passed and the bar is shutting down. We talked about everything - embarrassing stories from our youth, dreams, passions, family - everything except the usual DC dating fodder: jobs and politics. It was lovely and refreshing. He asked me out as we said goodbye and we had our second date at a trampoline park the following Monday. Once again, the date was one for the books. Nothing like playing tag on trampolines and jumping into a foam pit to give you a sense of fun that is so often lacking in the standard DC dinner and cocktails. We were getting a blizzard that night - so the place was deserted and our cab ride back to DC was like driving through a snowy dreamscape. We got a late dinner in one of the few restaurants that was open and talked for hours. Our next date was naturally game night where we played Cards Against Humanity, Battleship, Checkers, and Connect 4. I was headed to Vegas the next morning for a conference and we ended up talking into the wee hours of the morning delving deeper into our families and what we wanted out of the world.
I came back from Vegas sick as a dog and we postponed our fourth date to Sunday. He sent me 6 quarts of chicken noodle soup on Friday night. By Sunday, I was still not 100% but I headed in to meet him for bowling at 8pm - he was fond of the late night dates and since he was coming in from Baltimore I was willing to accommodate. Our conversation was a bit stilted but I wrote it off to me still being sick. After a couple of frames we decided to call it a night and as we put on our shoes I glanced over and said "Snazzy socks you've got on there." He responded with "What do you mean?" I laughed and modeled my own polka dot socks, picked out specifically for bowling alley black lights and said "You picked out snazzy socks to go bowling, like these bad boys!" He paused, looked at me, sighed, and then he told me that he "Just didn't think that this was going to work because it seemed like I was making fun of him." I was a little slow on the uptick, still being sick, and responded eloquently with "Huh?" So he elaborates with "It just felt like you were making fun of me with the snazzy sock comment, and I need someone who is more tender as a life partner." He continued with this diatribe, used the word tender about 10 more times, let me know that he didn't think I cheered enough that night when he got his strikes, and as we said goodbye he cried and hugged me.
What had been the most intense first three dates I have ever had, ended with the most baffling abruptness I'd ever experienced. After a teary ride home and a couple hours of sleep I woke up to the realization that he was absolutely ridiculous. Lawyer P. was one of those guys you come across dating, who is focused on finding the unicorn of women and expects to know it immediately. But what he is forgetting is that finding your partner in life isn't a race, and the expectation to trust someone enough to spill your deepest darkest secrets in four dates is a bit unrealistic - no matter how much of those four dates was spent talking. Plus, why the rush? If you are the 'one,' then we have a lifetime to spend getting to know each other; and if you aren't, then its best I don't share them with you. So Lawyer P., who is forever more known as Mr. Snazzy Socks, I wish you luck in your quest to find that unicorn, but maybe take a deep breath and give things a chance to grow organically rather than force that intimacy so quickly - it is a journey not a sprint!
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