Back in 2007 Barack Obama was running for President of the the United States, and one of my roommates - K.R. - was working on his campaign in Hoboken, New Jersey. During the campaign she became friends with J.K., who was running the campaign headquarters. I got pulled into some volunteering for the campaign but somehow managed not to meet J.K. until after the victor was declared and she needed a place to stay. K.R. asked us if we would mind J.K. coming to stay with us for a few days while she found a new place to stay - and oh she would be bringing her pup, Shamu. Looking back, I am pretty sure Shamu is the only reason that we agreed to this stay. J.K. showed up three days after she was supposed to, I got home from work first and was supposed to let her in, each night I got there and waited only to have no one show up. I was over J.K. before I even met her.
And on the third night - bam - Jen shows up. She was a whirlwind of flyaway red hair, bags, dog, and chatter. It was quite a first impression and boy was it accurate. It didn't matter that I hadn't met her - I was friends with K.R. and so instantly we were friends. There are very few people that are as open and accepting as J.K. and as I would learn over the next two weeks (not a few days) it was a bit like what I imagine living with Pippi Longstocking would be like. J.K. was a whirlwind of mothering and bad influence - she would cook us chicken pot pie while we were at work and then take us out and convince us that 5 tequila shots on a Tuesday was a good idea (they were not). She would clean the apartment and then read aloud from my trashy romances. She would drive us to Trader Joe's and then convince us that making out with a boy in a bar was totally classy (it never is). In two weeks we became life-long friends. Sure she moved on to someone else's couch and eventually find a place in Jersey City - but our friendship was set.
Over the next year and a half, J.K. talked me into some of my most memorable and least memorable moments in all my time in New York. She was a voice of empowerment as I made big, life altering decisions; a wise sage as I tumbled and struggled with what I was doing with my life; a role model as I began to truly own my feminism; and the whisper in my ear as I took that 5th shot of tequila (yet again) and started hitting on the son of Mr. McFeely from Mr. Rogers (yes, true story).
J.K. is one of those people who decides they are going to be your friend and there is no going back after that moment. She is the kind of friend that everyone needs in their life: the one you call when you need help no questions asked; when you need a complete confidence boost; when you need someone to give you that final push to take a plunge; and when you need someone to take you out and make you forget about all the crap that life is throwing at you. At 23, she was exactly the new friend I needed as I was getting my bearings in NYC. I can't think of my time up there without being flooded by memories of J.K.: dancing in the park, singing along to Miley Cyrus (no shame), figuring out how to eat gourmet on a shoe string budget, gossiping about dates, and long talks talks about changing the world.
Two years after first meeting, J.K. announced that she was moving to Spain to teach English. She knew no one in Spain and was jumping without looking - very typical. Yet, in the way of J.K. she managed to overstay her Visa by years - leaving and re-entering the country without issue, made a tribe for herself, started a business, lived on a shoe string budget, fell in love, got married, started a family, and eventually landed in London right before Brexit. A whirlwind of adventure and perseverance. And our friendship has stayed strong through it all.
Last week we chatted and I promised to write a blog just for her as she and her family are dealing with some stressful times. I toyed with telling a tale from one of those tequila filled nights at Maxwell's, or one of the many times she pushed me out of my comfort zone; but when it came down to it I thought she could use a reminder as to what a ridiculously fabulous woman she is and a thank you for changing my life. I would not have had nearly as much fun or jumped quite as high had it not been for you, J.K. So thank you, there is truly no one else in the world quite like you and I am a better person for having you in my life. My love to you, L., and A. - if anyone can make it through this - it is the three of you! And always remember - that 5th shot is totally worth the story you will tell later.
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