Dear readers, I’m in the middle of travel adventure- desperately trying to get down to Florida to help my parents out so that my Dad can get up to Minnesota for his brother’s funeral. Already emotional and chaotic circumstances but then add in a Windagedum here in DC yesterday when I was supposed to fly out and you can imagine where that leaves me: with a 17-hour travel day today. It began at 5 am when I arrived at the airport, per the insistent woman at American’s instructions, so that I could make it through TSA and be at the gate promptly for my priority standby. I made it through security in 20 minutes flat and stumbled through the terminal trying to find something open with caffeine - but not too much in case I did get on as I wanted to sleep. 30 minutes later, I’ve eaten a breakfast burrito and sucked down two glasses of terrible iced tea and decide I’ll just nap at the gate until 7:30 and then worry about paying prompt attention to the standby list.
I get to the gate settle in, plug my phone in, and prepare to crash..only to be blasted with a Windagedum-like gust of frigid air. Turns out my gate is next to the transfer door for the other gates, every couple minutes the helpful TSA agent opens the door to yell down to the bus driver that no one is waiting but it sure is busier than yesterday. I still manage to catch about 30 minutes of sleep- until the door gets stuck open and i admit defeat. It’s not even 7, the flight is set for 8:40...but st least people are starting to wake up so I can annoy people with texts and Instagram.
Around 7:30, the genesis for this story arrives. She’s about 5’2, 40ish, and full of pure cray-cray Mom-mess. She and her daughter were 3 and 5 on the standby list of 14. I am 7, i was higher yesterday, but i choose to believe she and her daughter are the reason I’ve been demoted. When they arrive they start in on with their sob story: They are on the way to a wedding in FL and just HAVE to get there. They waited all day in the airport yesterday. (Like this didn’t happen to thousands of people on the East Coast, but hers is more important because it’s her telling it apparentl). During the third telling of her saga, she pauses to check her phone and then announce - rather loudly- that the bride had just texted her to ask if her daughter can be a flower girl in the wedding that is taking place today! Apparently, another family is stuck in NYC and won’t make it! 😱 Obviously, now they must do everything they can to ensure they get on this flight- including saying a Hail Mary (out loud). She’s now furiously chatting up the people near her adding in “ maybe I’ll see if they can do an announcement asking if someone will give up their seat so my little girl can be a flower girl!” and then doing a little laugh and pause waiting to see if they will offer. When she says this to me, I tell her I hope not because I want one of those seats to get to a funeral. (Burn!)
Sooooo, flash forward to when the standbys start getting called. There are 3 seats. First one goes to #10 on the list (I’m still baffled about this and they explained it twice to me) then 1 & 2 get called..1 doesn’t show up...so drumroll- Mom has a seat. Little girl start bawling. Mom starts walking up and down the line of boarding passengers going “anyone wanna give up their seat so a little girl can be a flower girl?” Meanwhile, I’ve now identified standby passenger #4 - who stands between crazy Mom and crying child - and he is pissed, because there are no more seats, so if she wrangles someone that surpasses him and he has no time for this crazy.
Well, some woman who is trying to get Racine - yet is being routed through Tampa- looks at crying child and crazy mom, back and forth, back and forth- the standby crowd (all 6 of us) are watching, cringing and the she says it, “she can have my seat if they can get me on something going West.” We are fuming and the gate agent is fuming, because he knows he’s going to have a standby riot - plus everyone is now boarded BUT crazy Mom and Racine lady. He’s like - “ma’am you’d have to go to customer service to find out that” and then tries to explain why she can’t just hand her ticket to the kid to get on and then get a new one without charge!
Racine realizes she has tried and it ain’t happening and proceeds to board. Which leaves Mom with a ticket, little girl crying, and #4 looking at Mom waiting for her to call it and give up her ticket. Gate agent goes, “Ma’am, are you going or not?” And damned if she doesn’t go- “oh I’m going. Sorry baby, but I’m going to go.” And goes to get on board. I swear you could hear a pin drop. Little girl is like 6, bawling her eyes out and finally gate agent is like- “what about her?!” Mom is like, “oh I’m calling her grandpa- he’s waiting outside security for her. She can walk down.” We’re like- what?! You’re just leaving her. Not even going to make sure she gets there?! After all that- you’re just getting on?! It was the craziest and coldest Mom move I’ve ever seen. Gate agent ended walking her down and got her to gramps (or some dude claiming to be her gramp for all we know). #4 looked devastated as his chance at warmth and FL sunshine were snatched away and I went and got coffee and wrote this up for my dear readers.
You’re welcome.
Happy Saturday
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